While it is most definitely true many men do not rape nor objectify nor demean women, our present, patriarchal system creates the climate in which these actions are common, normalized. And, in the process, also creates the climate in which a woman, like me, pointing out inequality must ask herself those self-conscious questions, as not to offend or transgress gender roles (since feminine anger is still taboo).
So, I stand (or, sit) by what I wrote. The sky is blue. Sexism exists. It’s hardly a Copernican statement. And, yet, it is surprising how easy it is to mistake being woman-identified with hatred-of-men (even for a feminist).
Being woman-identified is a positive stance. It’s standing for healthy self-love, for equality and for human dignity. It’s loving, and being comfortable in, one’s own body. It’s appreciating the achievements of the mothers and sisters who came before you. It’s working for the good of your daughters and their children. It’s congruence between your inner and outer lives. It’s meeting the standards to which you’ve committed yourself, and not ones imposed on you by culture. It’s authenticity, autonomy, and sovereignty over, and responsibility for, yourself.
Hatred of men is a completely different concept. What one hates, from a feminist perspective, is not men-as-individuals (our fathers, brothers, friends and lovers) but the culture of male dominance and male privilege.
That being said, at that moment, I was seriously questioning what it meant to be woman-identified because of the difficulty in defining womanhood itself.
Some women do, in fact, have male genitalia. Some women have had mastectomies or hysterectomies. Some cannot bear children. Some do not want children. Some fall in love with other women. Some possess more traditionally male characteristics than female characteristics.
“Womanness”, it appears, is not some platonic ideal; nor is defined by body type or emotional composition or a set of stereotyped behaviors.
So, I pose the question to you.
What is a woman?
That being said, at that moment, I was seriously questioning what it meant to be woman-identified because of the difficulty in defining womanhood itself.
Some women do, in fact, have male genitalia. Some women have had mastectomies or hysterectomies. Some cannot bear children. Some do not want children. Some fall in love with other women. Some possess more traditionally male characteristics than female characteristics.
“Womanness”, it appears, is not some platonic ideal; nor is defined by body type or emotional composition or a set of stereotyped behaviors.
So, I pose the question to you.
What is a woman?
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